2007 Cebu Trip ( 8 Sep - 10 Sep )

You would wish to have wider eyesight while you are under the sea, so you can take the whole sea world in one look. The excitment of swimming with flock of big fishes and in the world of coral reef is beyond words can explain. You will be amazed and perplexed by wonders of nature.

Definitely the best dive I have ever had.

My Way

I will find my way
I want a different way
Nothing can stop me now
No matter what they say
困難要用我的堅強和努力勇敢面對
現在用心去追
感覺就對
I'll find my way

<<張敬軒 - My Way>>

Harry Potter

The eight-year quest has finally finished. Professor Snape takes the place of George & Fred and becomes my favourite character of the book.

Mango Napoleon Cake

Prefer the Napoleon without the sponge cake, but this one is also nice.

A Day On The Beach

Finally went to the beach and got some sun......burnt. By spending the Saturday afternoon under the cloudless sky, with a sip of Carlsberg, what more you can ask for.

Twenty Minutes

In a small tea shop located in the hallway of a shopping mall, no background music, no coffee aroma, no big sofa. Just two coffee, two chairs, a table and a magazine. For that little twenty minutes, you just sit there comfortably and engaged in casual conversation occasionally. You don't have to fight for words to fill the silence. Everything goes so natural.

How often do you have these twenty minutes?

My Mum

When I was in kindergarten, I would like to have a mum who would allow me to have long hair so I could wear a pony tail to school; who could read me interesting bedtime stories instead of just reading the words straight from the book and who was more patient like my uncle's wife.

For the past twenty years, I have seen her crying, shouting, cursing, fighting, throwing things & breaking down, all these images of hers still haunt me sometimes. But I have also felt her strength in protecting us, love for the family, energy in taking care of everything, determination to sustain the family, power to defend attack & enthusiasm in learning.

I have witnessed her change from a self-pitied person to a cheerful woman. Now I no longer envy other people's elegant mothers, I feel so proud of my mother just as she is.

Growing Old

It is seen as an unspoken concensus that the children will move out when they got married. So you will be living with your partner or alone when they left. By then you will have all the time in the world...
to sleep (but you can't sleep more than 6 hours a day);
to clean (but since you clean it every day, there is not enough dirt for the work);
to read (if lucky enough that your eyesight is still there);
to have fun with friends (only friends are leaving for heaven one by one).

Oh... I was intended to write a cheerful note on "Proper Attitude Towards Growing Old", but I end up writing these dark ideas.

The Thirteenth Tale

People disappear when they die. Their voice, their laughter, the warmth of their breath. Their flesh. Eventually their bones. All living memory of them ceases. This is both dreadful and natural. Yet for some there is an exception fo this annihilation.

For in the books they write they continue to exist. We can rediscover them. Their humour, their tone of voice, their moods. Through the written word they can anger you or make you happy. They can comfort you. They can perplex you. They can alter you. All this, even though they are dead. Like flies in amber, like corpses frozen in ice, that which according to the laws of nature should pass away is, by the miracle of ink on paper, preserved. It is a kind of magic.

--- The Thirteenth Tale by Diane Setterfield

A Little Bit...

I am a little bit angry, disappointed, sad, lost, unease... as if I am begging for something I am not deserved for.

I just want to have a fun WHOLE night after a damn week of work, instead of a petty two hours...

Memories

"With memories, good or bad; our lives are too empty." well said by the philosopher that I know.

So it is better to embrace our memories as they are, and to leave our lives with a bit more varieties...

Thoughts Blocked

Seldom have new entries in the last 6 months, stopped writing organizers or diary. Work is the only thing that matters, deadlines, reports, meetings... I am so fed up.

Triple Chocolate Mousse Cake

If anyone happens to be born today --- Happy Birthday!~

My First Sail

Sitting on the deck of a sailing boat; eating plums and throwing the chicken wings into the sea; watching the wakeboard skiers nearby under the cloudless sky. Life should be like this... broad, slow and with fun.

If I have enough money, I would prefer to own a boat / yatch rather than a car.

Before Sunrise

Come Here - Kath Bloom
The awkwardness is always the cutest.

Before Sunset

A Waltz For A Night - Julie Deply
I love this song.

A Real Dream?

In the dream, I was standing on the sidewalk, I saw someone walking towards me, his face & feature were extremely familiar. A surge of warmth filled me and yet fear also came along because I was afraid he would disappear when I blinked. So I tried very hard to keep my eyes open.

He walked pass me very quickly, the worry of him going away took over me. So I ran after him and tried to grab his arm, but at the same time I would expect him to dissolve when I touched him. Finally I reached him and he was till there!!! He then turned around....

Hello there my grandpa!!

This was the second time we met in the blurry space that separate us. It feels so real in the dream and I feel so sad in real life.

My First Chocolate Cookies + Blueburry Muffins

Yum!!!~

Paranoid

Doctor asked me to perform a blood test today. I don't want to be a paranoid, but I am actually afraid... not worried. Thanks for being beside me.

Farewell Dinner

Just had a farewell dinner with one of the colleagues, and during the whole time, I can't stop imagining my own farewell dinner... which theoretically shall come in around six months later.

Everybody was so relaxed tonight, a colleague talked about his divorced life; boss shared his family pressure in being a MD before 35 years old; we distinguished who are the early birds and who are the night cats; we teased the quiet & serious colleague... why things always get so beautiful when it is time to end.

I have decided that when I leave, I will bring to the farewell dinner a bottle of Verve Clicquot, Moet & Chandon and the Bellini Cocktail. Can't wait...

Life-long Partner

When I am contemplating the meaning of a life-long partner, I think of the time we are going to spend ahead. If God permits me, I believe I will be still on earth for the coming 40 years to come. For the future four decades, excitement is not to be guaranteed every day. In fact, regular chores will bring along... boredom.

If one gets tired of a relationship after several years and complaining everything has become habit, you do not have to be sad for losing a person like this. Because this is definitely not the one who is willing to walk with you to the end.

Finally

Finally we can have a peaceful dinner with red wine on this day.
Happy 19th March 2007.

2007 Marsh Annual Dinner

Two words for the night --- GOOD SHOW!!!

Every time after the stage performance, no matter it is debate, drama or MC, I felt great. Thanks to my style consulant, I've got the suitable outfit and a perfect make up. ^-^

I guessed the most rewarding thing is to allow my face & ability being recognized by all of them... before I leave.

P.S. Prize won - Sony Ericsson W850i (it naturally goes to my bro~)

What's the Problem?

Guessed I have been going through that conversation with at least 5 persons, and all the responses are similar. That I should ask what I want to know, not to wait for someone to tell me what I want to know... coz they might never know. I understand the rationale, but I just don't feel right.

Or after all, I just don't want to be disappointed?

Optimist or Pessimist

When I was queuing up at the cashier in Marks & Spencer underwear section, the lady in front of me bought at least 4 sets of bright coloured, laced & sexy bras with panties. Out of curiosity, I looked at the owner of these seductive garments... she is around 40 something, small, forgot about her face, but you feel that she is an aging woman with an unattractive face.

It is something sad that she tried very hard to decorate her body with colourful underwear and try to cling on to the youth that are slipping away...? or she tried to get the best fun out of everything despite of the age and body constraint...?

I dunno the truth, but I am more of a pessimist.

Rocky Balboa

"it ain't about how hard you hit

it's about how hard you can get hit

and keep moving forward

how much you can take and keep moving forward

that'z how winning is done!

now if you know what you worth

go out and get what you worth

but you gotta be willing to get the hits

and not pointing fingers say

you ain't what you wanna be because of him or her or anybody!

cowards do that and that ain't you

you are better than that!"

This movie is surprisingly inspiring.

Bad Dream

A bad dream with a scene that left me shock and speechless, I remembered when I woke up, I kept recalling the scene and imagined if I did see that in real life, will I be petrified as in the dream? Probably YES.

Not really a nice piece for first 2007 entry.

Emptiness

I am digging hard my head into "The Historian"... trying tired myself so I sleep instead of doing... nothing.

Is my life this empty?

Crying

I woke up soaking wet in my own tears, I vaguely remembered the dream now, it was not a horrible one, but a bit sad.

Inside my boss' room today, I also saw tears swelling up her eyes when she was explaining our position with the demanding client over the phone. We are all under pressure, but hers is more than she can bear. At that particular moment, I forget all about quitting the job.

X'mas Card

I was so moved to receive a X'mas Card from Japan, thanks Jaujau!!!!!

The little card reminds me of the late night letter/card writings even after a whole day's homework. We used to keep relationship in a more...hm... indirect yet lovely way.

I do not throw away hand written letters, so I still have a full box of paper correspondences with naive ideas composed by pure hearts.

My Best Friend's Wedding

My best wishes to you.

How Much Does Your Dignity Worth?

有人對我說了以下一番話:

"可能你不會同意, 但尊嚴是不值錢的, 由其在非原則性的問題上. 那你就作假都要順著他們, 有需要就自動認下錯, 否則蝕底的都是你自己."

講得很好!! 但我真的不能同意, 尊嚴本身就是個原則性的問題. 尊嚴不會因應不同的情況而被掛上不同的價錢牌. 所以我答:

"okay. 但估計我還需要時間慢慢學習."

如果對你說這番話的是你老闆, 感覺真的有點灰. 尊嚴實在是甚麼? 我還是 so simple too naive 地不能清楚解釋. 只知道我還是未能卑躬屈膝笑騎騎地拍馬屁, 可能我還不夠老練, 未能看透, 又或者是我的腰骨還在.

Hi There~

It has been nearly two years, but I still cannot get over. Only wish you will know... though it is too late.

Wedding Dinners

I have attended 4 wedding dinners so far this year and 2 more are coming. Still have no single feeling of disgust when I receive the pink bombs.

At this particular moment, I suddenly understand the importance of the Wedding Dinner. It might be a show for the guests, it is part the permanent memories that are unerasable even by Alzheimer's Disease.

Imagine when you are at the age of 93, your memory is eroded bit by bit by Alzheimer's, you started to forget the names of your grandchildren, unable to recall your telephone numbers, but you can still remember the Love Declaration you read to him/her on your wedding night... how sweet will this be.

Dark Days Coming

I feel like walking slowly into a dead end tunnel. Behind me, laughters fading, lights getting dimmer.

Fingers Crossed

Where will I be the same time next year? I hope I will be embarking for another unique life experience in another part of the world... with you.

Let's get our fingers crossed. ^-^

Backpacking

Wake up before dawn comes, yet adrenaline level beats the sleepiness. Have a casual breakfast and rush to terminal for boarding. Holding a piece of map guide and anticipating new discoveries.

I can re-experience the backpacking routines in a place that I should be familiar with but yet still very alien. Let's use another angle to explore, to re-discover.

Sick

Sore throat + coughing + running nose

Extend the Night

As title.

Promise

I have promised to go back and visit them during National Holiday, then I will, whatever the difficulties, whatever the room allocation, and I am taking you with me.

If we can work our heads off for our Company who has no mercy on us, why can't we skip few hours of sleep for our family?? I cannot afford another miss.

A Pass

I have given a pass to Shanghai but a yes to Australia.

Re: Entry on August 23, 2006

The puzzle has been completed.

Take Me There... again

Photo Source: http://www.maastricht.nl/maastricht/show/id=55399/framenoid=39719
Compiled by: tingzi

Desktop

What is missing in the picture?

Jack's Life

從 Jack's Life 彷彿也看到自己的 life, 從小到大規規矩矩, 總是沒有辜負家人的期望. 走過的路像是戲中機械人預設程式般, 在指定的時候裏完成指定的動作, 皆大歡喜.

幸福的公式等於大學畢業+事業有成+有車有樓+生兒育女+望子成龍+提早退休+百年歸老.

完成第一階段, 有人會提醒, 催促你要替下一個目標作準備. 相信有人會嘗試掙扎, 但只有小部份人能夠成功為幸福另設新定義.

其實到最後誰也不會比誰更幸福, 幸福是個人化的, 各人都擁有把事情"幸福化"的能力. 公認的幸福方程式, 也只是一個參考答案, 想創新的人們, 就要靠自己了.

p.s. 致Ada/Rose/侍應/奶奶/鄉親/排隊者, 現送上遲來的post-drama感想.

Stay There For Me

First Pilate lesson, besides the sweet instructor, I only remembered this phrase --- "Stay there for me".

Yes. Please stay there... for me.

Wild Thought

Will Pacific Place hire me to sell gelato?
Will Godiva take me as their chocolate lady?

Silent Dinner

Our dinner last night was almost silent... you were still preoccupied by the shocking news. Feeling disappointed, furious and other sensations that I might not comprehend. In that particular moment, I can envisage this will be the scene if we break up... ABSOLUTE SILENCE.

Remember This

最心痛是　愛得太遲　
有些心意　不可等某個日子
盲目地發奮　忙忙忙其實自私　
夢中也習慣有壓力要我得知
最可怕是　愛需要及時　
只差一秒 心聲都已變歷史
忙極亦放肆　見我愛的見雙至　
要抱要吻怎麼也好
偏要推說要等一下次

古巨基- 愛得太遲

我夢遊你夢遊

<<我夢遊你夢遊>>
我喜歡四十五度地靠著你

不論在世界的任何角落都要感到幸福

在即將九十度墜落前請

用一百八十度溫柔地抱抱我

P.S. I have been searching this for at least 2 years after I first saw it.

Happy Birthday

I remembered it is your birthday the first thing I opened my eyes today, and tears start rolling down. Your birthday reminder is still in my mobile phone, and it will always be there.

Take good care of yourself no matter where you are.

Love,
tingting

Dreammaker

A dreammaker is not the one who waves the wand and make every wish comes true. My dreammaker kicks me out from the sheep herd, reflames that long forgotten passion in the heart, and gradually walks to the right direction step by step... together with me.

Unromantic

A marriage without a decent proposal is just so unromantic.

McDull Fever Series

Must Help Me ar~!~

Work

Average time of leaving the office was 10pm these few days... the general belief is that you only leave on time when you have 'something' to do. Say, going to school, having a dinner appointment, visiting a doctor... you should have to properly excuse yourself with unbeatable reason before you can leave without receiving any smirk from your co-workers... though in a subtle way.

This is absolutely unhealthy. Some people are workaholic, they get satisfactions from tackling work tasks. Some people take it as a job that in return they will receive appropriate compensation. I am neither of these extremes, I got satisfactions in my job and would expect a reaonable return. However, when one is overloaded, nothing is enjoyable any longer.

Postcard Received

Received a long requested postcard from Chicargo, hopefully the next one will be from Bangladesh.

Finally the 'long-wanted' postcard is physically lying in front of me... but it feels absurd... it's as if I am pointing a gun behind your back and make you write this...

McDull Fever

ANNOUNCEMENT

===============

For those residing in Hong Kong:

If you need to go to convenient stores, go to CIRCLE K;

When you are inside CIRCLE K, spend over HKD20;

And render the McDull Sticker to me.

Many Thanks.

Supporting Buddy

Received a piece of shocking news weeks ago, I definitely would be much better off if I did not know it at all... though I have no way to testify whether it is the real truth. I might look normal to most people but I was really hollow inside.

Would like to express my gratitude to my supporting buddy(ies), thanks for being next to me. Your pure presence is already a form of force. Thanks!

Enneagram Type 9 - The Peacemaker

People of this personality type essentially feel a need for peace and harmony. They tend to avoid conflict at all costs, whether it be internal or interpersonal. As the potential for conflict in life is virtually ubiquitous, the Nine's desire to avoid it generally results in some degree of withdrawal from life, and many Nines are, in fact, introverted. Other Nines lead more active, social lives, but nevertheless remain to some to degree "checked out," or not fully involved, as if to insulate themselves from threats to their peace of mind. Most Nines are fairly easy going; they adopt a strategy of "going with the flow." They are generally reliable, sturdy, self-effacing, tolerant and likable individuals.

Nines tend to adopt an optimistic approach to life; they are, for the most part, trusting people who see the best in others; they frequently have a deep seated faith that things will somehow work out. They desire to feel connected, both to other people and to the world at large. They frequently feel most at home in nature and generally make warm and attentive parents.
The Nine's inability to tolerate conflict sometimes translates into an overall conservative approach to change. Change can provoke unpleasant feelings and disrupt the Nine's desire for comfort. Less healthy Nines seem incapable of motivating themselves to move into action and bring about effective change. When change does come however, as it generally will, Nines find that they are usually well able to adapt. They tend to be more resilient than they give themselves credit for.

In fact, Nines tend not to give themselves enough credit in general, and their self-effacing attitude often seems to invite others to take them for granted or to overlook their often significant contributions. This can cause a subterranean anger to build inside the Nine's psyche, which can erupt into consciousness in occasional fits of temper which quickly blow over, but which more often manifests itself in passive agressive footdragging. Being overlooked is often a source of a deep sadness in Nines, a sadness that they scarcely ever give voice to.

Nines frequently mistype themselves as they have a rather diffuse sense of their own identities. This is exacerbated by the fact that Nines often merge with their loved ones and through a process of identification take on the characteristics of those closest to them. Female Nines frequently mistype as Twos, especially if they are the mothers are small children. Nines, however, are self-effacing whereas Twos are quite aware of their own self worth. Nines also mistake themselves for Fours, but Nines tend to avoid negative emotions whereas Fours often exacerbate them. Intellectual Nines, especially males, frequently mistype as Fives, but Fives are intellectually contentious whereas Nines are conciliatory and conflict avoidant.

http://www.eclecticenergies.com/enneagram/test.php

Macau Trip 2006

After try out in the karting, I know that I am not suitable for driving... I get too nervous when the motor speeds up and too slow in making turns. It definitely requires 100% concentration on the road, specially when some other cars are passing by yours with a waving hand & staring look. Should I return my stare? or should I focus on driving? but it seems it is so impolite not to return a smile... hmm... my head cannot handle so many things at the same time.

P.S. I was in Macau at the same of last year. (refer to Archive April 2005)

Your Clock

If I have my own renovated house, authority to decorate it with furniture & ornaments & household accessories, wedding planning at year end... I will at least be thrilled by either one of these things.

Starting to understand / feel the effect of human clock works on women, there is no way to deny or avoid. But...let him be the one chosen by your heart, not the one chosen by your clock.

Real Men

A piece of exciting news from you. Our position has been reversed, you were just like me 5 months ago, uncertained but excited.

Your plan means a lot to me... I first made that particular request two years ago on 04 Jan 2004 and asked again last year in July. Thanks for taking me & my request seriously.

Real men fulfilled their promises.

Mongolia

Anyone will join me for the trip?

Wandering

I embarked my wandering trip on Saturday, from Wanchai to Western District, on foot. Though I wanted to try some new routes, I did not deviate from the main road... is that I lost the quest for adventure or I knew nothing is interesting even I walk into the narrow alleys.

Hmm... I missed the time in Maastricht... really missed. The shops are hidden between small roads, sometimes it is difficult to tell whether it is a home or it is a shop or it is both. Sales people are nice and not pushy; merchandises are well displayed. If you are tired, just bought a sausage roll and enjoyed it on the bench before the church. No smoke from cars, no people elbowing, no rushing.

>.< I want to go back...

19th March

Seems every year of this day, there was something happening to prevent us from having a real celebration. Exams, wedding dinners and an absent mind... ok. To stop myself in turning to a real irritant by mentioning the past, I shall date you on this date for the coming 5 years.

19th March, 2007 (Mon)
19th March, 2008(Wed)
19th March, 2009 (Thur)
19th March, 2010 (Fri)
19th March, 2011 (Sat)

D@mn... all weekdays except that on 2011. One may think I am very silly in dwelling on things like these. But please remember, I am very particular on these dates, very particular, no matter you agree or not. They are important, to me.

Brokeback Mountain

My favourite scene of the movie. It still has the power to swell up my eyes now. What the film portraits can be comprehended by everyone regardless of any sexual preferences. It boils down that no matter what gender is your partner, it is the same thing inside, same pain that twists your heart.

We wish to prolong the beautiful moments, if not, we want to freeze it. Capture them on photos, on papers, on things that represent those particular hours... hopefully it can be enjoyed together later, not for mournful regret alone.

Marsh Annual Dinner 2006

First year to attend annual dinner in the new company. Colleagues went out to set their hair, so I joined as well. Maybe the barberer likes to play with long hair, he set me a grand style that others thought I was a bride or something.

Then I went home tried to change for a more suitable outfit for my hair style, but I found I have non and I cannot take off my clothes without ruining my hair. Anyways, I went to the dinner with super grand style... for the area above my neck only.

My target this year was to win a new cell phone, but again, I do not have what I wished for. Instead, I got a table price with loads of domestic items and Fortress HKD2,000 Cash Coupons!!!!!!

This is a good start for the year, isn't it? ^O^

Valentine's Gift

The great mission has been accomplished. A full year's hard work and patience are transformed into words and illustrations. As I said, the task is more difficult than I perceived, but more rewarding than I expected.

In the course of preparation, at times frustration came that not much appreciation would be given for the silly act; evil tempted me to give up; tiredness and dim light lured me to omit trivial yet valuable details... with reason unknown, I finished it bit by bit.

It cannot be called a masterpiece, nor every entry is interesting and lively as we experienced it, but with love, I hope you can read behind the lines and see more than plain sentences / pictures...

Happy Valentine's Day.

In The Office

I am in the office now with few of the hardworking (poor) colleagues of mine. Normally I would be feeling quite down for still staying in office at this hour on Friday night. Today, I have my iPod with me... kakaa~ Wild thoughts are whirling in my head together with the music.

Nice Treat

A nice treat after a long day work is to have dinner peacefully, read some gossip magazine, watch TV programmes. To make it much better, crouch in sofa and play scrabble with a cup of Chinese tea... and doing all of these... together.

Needed

Even when I am in half drunken stage, I know where I am needed and the adrenaline levels shoot up to make sure I am wide awake to take care of you.

Being needed is a special feeling... hmm...

Hug

When I am in a hug, I do not want to be the first one to pull out. For I enjoy the little intimacy and phyical bond between the two people. The longer you are willing to engage in a hug in public, the more you are indulged...

Protection

The initial intention was to protect it from unnecessary gossips, excessive pressures and malicious comments. All actions were rooted from a caring perspective, hoping it will blossom into something beautiful.

It indeed grows as expected, but it is still under protection of the greenhouse. Can it still propagate when it is out in the wild? Will it wither under the sun? Can it withstand storms & rain?

I have faith, are you with me?

Happy For You

It was a long forgotten kind of feelings, it is not selfish, not personal, the happiness comes from the deepest point of the heart. I am really happy for you. :)

You have found a shelter, a dream home, a commitment, a companion, I hope you find love as well.

Da Vinci Code

After Memoirs of Geisha, this movie is the next on my list. It will be more enchanting if you have actually been to those sites, watched those paintings. Attention to the leading actor and actress, they are just the same as that from the book.

Initiatives

Initiative should be the appropriate action to be adopted. Luck will not always follow, I have been the blessed for past 2 years. Now it is on my own.

p.s. 442 days, your departure is not in vain. but i hate myself.

Let Go

It is when you let go, you feel free. It is when you unclench your fist, you can breath. You no longer feel suffocated and nor the others. So... let it go, if it is meant to be yours, it will be yours.

Stanley

Stanley is always a special place from the first day... Murray House; Beach & the Chocolate; BBQ outside Curry House; Weekday Tea Time; Read Alone in Pacific Coffee; Freezing Romantic Dinner... and more to come?

Not too numerous incidence, but it is interesting and lovely to be remembered.

Emails

Browsed my past email to friends, it might not be very frequent, but I put my heart into it. Especially for those overseas, a lovely email can really brighten up a day. I have experienced and I know the importance of these minute yet significant support.

Received a New Year greeting from ex-colleague, it might be just a forwarded greeting, but I feel content and warm.

Year 2006

First entry of the new year:

Today I have not accomplished anything yet, I slept till I can stand no more. 1st Jan 2006, it is a brand new start of something exciting ahead, or it is just another day.

You are the one who make the decision, so get up and do something meaningful!!!

Be Grateful

It is always rewarding to chat with different friends, to get to know how they see things. For the same incident, we perceive differently.

You used your hard earn money to provide the best environment for your children... now they have grown up, holding several degrees from respectable Universities. And yet, the gap between is enlarging by each step they go forward.

They speak another language that make no sense to you; they adopt another culture that with contradicting values with your own; their ideas seem ridculous to you... they have advanced, excelled and have a better life than youself, but you cannot understand them any more.

At times, or many times, we feel we are much better than our parents in all ways. We can master computer, we speak English, we earn more... but let's go back, it is them who pick the schools, it is them who urge us to study, it is them to provide the necessities for our current success. Be grateful, please.

Merry Christmas 2005

My personalized Christmas Gift.

Champagne

My new boss treated us these Champagne. Taste so good. I have mentioned to him that 3 bottles for 8 people are just.... not enough. He agreed absolutely and promised to prepare sufficient Champagne for the New Year Celebration.

p.s. Veuve (in French) = Widow

Love

What do you think about Love now?
Was it different from your pervious views / belief?

I have not been discussing this topic for a long time, lack of suitable companion is the main reason. It is not necessary to discuss this with your partner, you only have to experience it with him/her.

Think For Myself

A comment has been shot to me, I should start thinking for myself. Not that I have not been thinking it before, my consideration always takes others into account.

I take this as a good personality trait, but it cannot be overdone...

Subconscious

Main Entry: 1sub·con·scious
Pronunciation: "s&b-'kän(t)-sh&s, 's&b-
Function: adjective
: existing in the mind but not immediately available to consciousness

Listened to my thoughts word by word from another's mouth is a strange feeling, as if I was detached from my body and looking at myself as a third person.

Speak of what you said is my own ideas is an unfair act. I am sure I have spoken nearly the exact lines to you, maybe you have agreed and these ideas creeped behind your mind since then. Maybe it has entered your subconsciousness... how many of your ideas have become my subconsciousness without myself knowing it?

Favourite Scene

The mingled ten years love and hate are plainly displayed, love has been expressed, revenge has been taken, everything is melt down and disappeared like a snowflake...

It is as simple as this, we want reassurance... at the moment that one is/was deeply in love, whether the other is/was the same... we just want to know, that's all.

See Ya!

Treated my colleagues a dinner hot pot. All the oddness has been melted down to familiarity. Strange that I started to miss them... I did not miss my summer job colleagues though i had more fun with them.

Here is warm and close like a family, even they will not take care of each other, they will not set each other up. Everybody has their own position... peaceful and comfortable.

I have stood up already... I cannot sit down again... I have to walk out... whatever is awaiting, we are only few blocks away. See ya!

~ my seaview~

Perhaps Love

www.perhapslovemovie.com/

Listened to the whole soundtrack at HMV today. I guessed I stood there for a long time, people who wanted to listen lost patience and stood beside me, right beside me.

First Golfing Experience

A brief visit to Kai Tak Golf Centre, a remote area in the heart of city. It is designed for people with cars. So we head for Asia Golf Club @ Cheung Sha Wan.

You will have exciting sensation when you know you swing it right and hit the ball high & far. The instant video replay just made the game more interesting.

Thanks for bearing my stupid move. It is your sports... again.

Farewell

Farewell to my seaview

Insistence

When you feel you cannot speak something interesting, you are quiet; when you are able to buy yourself a house, but not the best one, you wait for better chance; when you can get married with someone whom you do not really love, you stay single; when you write a lousy email, rewrite till it displays taste.

I started to understand and appreciate the insistence of never settling for the less. Like 陶傑 says, "這不是扮嘢, 而是對品味的正常要求"

Resignation

I always think that during the last 2 weeks of a job, you will be relatively free, the main tasks are handover jobs only, but truth is the alternative.

I am taken out to see new clients, being assigned with new tasks and to clear up shity work. These are not what I expected to do when I am about to vanish from here in 2 weeks time.

Anyways, the work is hard, the body is tired, but the mind is free.

Pacific Coffee

Sitting in a large sofa with a cup of caramel latte, reading high end magazine and listening to light musics... these are standard actions for myself in Pacific Coffee. Strangely I do not feel foreign in that place, nor I feel like I am in a public coffee shop.

I imagine I am in my own place, curl up in a sofa, flipping through magazines... within the vicinity of the small desk and sofa... it is my home, my 'dreamed' home.

When can I have a real one?

Alone

I feel I am walking down the road on my own, alone, so alone.

Sweet Bed Time Story

Just heard a sweet bed time story, sweet in a sense that you know what you treasure. You can see beauty out of the ordinary and even the most annoying act.

It is easy to find an accompanion to share joy, but not pain. If you have found someone who are willing to share your suffering and endure it with you, congratulations.

What A Night...

Businesswomen, tough ladies, girls with strong personalities, they have one thing in common --- female. So they share the same natural instinct, raw desire, no matter how unapproachable they seemed. It is the same thing inside.

p.s. on my way home tonight, a hunched back middle aged woman came to me. she has uneven teeth, small eyes, dressed in dark red, small figure. she blocked my way, stared at me and whisper, "你唔洗驚呀... 我好肚餓, 可唔可以比二十蚊我食野...".

she uttered each word clearly, slowly and in the lightest way... as if she was a witch trying to hypnotise me. I gave her HKD20 and said 多謝... I felt cold sweat down my spine.

化蝶

Used to download the lyrics together with a song, and read it while playing the song. 化蝶 by 何韻詩 is on my play list all night.

Give some seconds and contemplate the phrase:
蝴蝶苦戀花那魂魄也願意

Can you feel the depth of it? How far can this go...

Chocolate Cube

I am supposed to be preparing for the exam next Monday. I watched TV, listened MP3, read books... I was being bombarded with more questions from myself again.

It proves again when I have excessive spare time, I think. The more thinkings I do, the more depressed I become. I know I am not an optimist, I go for the worst possible on the first go.

Sometimes having a low time is like treating yourself with a chocolate cube for the monotonous life.

Layman

Layman, what an appropriate word to describe my present attitude when compared with the past.

When a matter gains its importance, it comes with higher priority, higher expectation, more care and attention are also given. All these factors just paralyse your sensible thinkings and turn you into a sensitive layman.

This might not be 100% applicable to all, but it happens on me. So you have to be glad to find that you are / still are a layman, because you still care.

p.s. Acknowledgement to Mr. Ric for contribution of the word 'layman' and best wishes to his new adventure to the heaven.