No Way...

I have allowed you to deprived him from paying respect to the dead, there is no way I will permit you to bar him from visiting the alive. NOT AGAIN!

Message Received

I vitrually had two seconds of black out when I received the message.

Future is an area that has been left untouched under a silent mutual consent. It might sound unusual to many other couples who start naming their unconceived / unborn children in early stage of relationships. Though I consider these virtual future plannings are sweet & adorable. I feel it futile & pointless to creat falseful hopes which will only turn into spiky remainders when plans are unable to realize.

I was touched. Really.

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

This was the first and only book I read from Roald Dahl, but I forgot what I have read... just remembered I felt so tasty & delicious while reading. The movie is definitely light hearted and interesting. You don't have to think hard, everything has been plainly explained. Afterall, it should be a kids' movie. Enjoy!

Adaptation

Brilliant movie! Charlie Kaufman, he was the screenplayer for "Being John Malkovich", "Adaptation" & "Eternal Sunshine for the Spotless Mind". These happened to be the type of movies that I like. It can portrait some thinkings / behaviours that words cannot precisely explain. He was like Milan Kundera, who has the ability to express the ambiguous feelings that we have.

"Adaptation" has drawn my interest to the book "Orchid Thief", I will hunt down this soon.

tingzimentory

In view of my frequent updates of blog are done in the office, this might be a silly yet I think an effective way to disguise the true identity of the page. Anyways, the previous title is just too... hm... old fashioned.

p.s. tingzimentory as to documentary of tingzi

The March of the Penguins

www.marchofthepenguins.com/

Real Me?

In a bus yesterday evening, looking at my own reflection from the window, suddenly a strong feeling tells me thet I am looking at the real me. Strangely, I was rather bad tempered lately. Yet the short temper was initiated by some fire inside myself - the desire to get things done in a right way; the wish to clear all uncertainties & ambiguities.

Used to have this feelings sometime in F.6, while I was engaged deeply in debating competitions. It was tough, but you have fully utilized every minute due to scarcity of time.

P.S. I will get my Graduation Photos finally... after 2 years. It's the real me who helped to arrange. ^-^

Passed Away

My grandpa has been passed away for nearly 10 months, at times I would blame myself for not thinking of him more often, at time I would cry my eyes out at the thought of him. Yet these are just self consolations to make myself feel better.

The significance of his departure made me realize my weakness in loving & caring of others. We are all stupid human beings, we are unable to capture each others' brainwave without speaking / acting what we feel / want.

Chatting with siblings / parents / grandparents is sometimes boring, but you will soon find out that they just want you to listen. They will gossip about relatives, brag on their achievements and reminisce the past... it isn't a difficult task to be a listener. When you see their animated faces and contented smiles, nothing really matters anymore.

If your loved one has set off his/her way to heaven, refocus your attention to those around, and keep the deceased at heart.

Next Station

看見台前幕後對舞台和理想的堅持, 深感佩服. 也希望自己有這份熱誠. 身邊的人都喜用薪金和職位來衡量個人的成就, 有時我都不想插嘴. 對於高薪厚職和追夢者, 我還是較欣賞後者. 對劇內故事間的關係不是太可以掌握, 大抵我是劇中導演所講的一般觀眾, 太抽象的信息還是接收不來.

但我對某些對白還是有所觸動, 像光頭伙計的一句, “你呢D人明知自己想要D mud, 硬係要兜個圈去攞…”. 大家都有形形式式大大小小的理想, 當然可以直接爭取, 但這個世界除了自己還有家人, 愛人, 朋友. 不顧一切地實現夢想是很崇高但自私的行為. 我們可以做到的是在追求理想和現實中找個平衡, 昨晚我就看到了.

致 Black Out Theatre 的行政主席, 請接受這份遲來的feedback. 加油呀!

My Colleague

Had lunch with my Guangzhou colleague. He is so proud to tell everyone about his wife, I have heard this from day 1 I knew him.

To quote:

• 她是一個很賢淑的女孩
• 她生存的目標是要讓我幸福和維持這個家庭
• 她不用出去工作, 因為我不想她認識到其他男生
• 她沒有異性朋友, 所有她認識的男性朋友都是我的朋友
• 無論我多晩回家, 她都會調好熱水等我

I felt so sorry for his wife when I heard him bragging about all these, being isolated from society, unable to meet new friends and living like a peripheral of her man. But as I re-read it after typing it all out, I feel... ... it's fine.

Countries Visited

create your own visited countries map
or vertaling Duits Nederlands

Thought I've been to quite some countries, but it only accounts for 5% only!! Australia~~ a place reserved when I / we are old... hope you can remember this... when you are old. I will keep my fingers crossed.

Resignation

An HR Manager from one of our clients has resigned, this news comes shocking and unexpected. He works for the company for over a decade, my brief encounters with him gave the impression that he prefers other brokers than us.

My boss and manager rejoiced at the news, feeling the obstable and opposition have been cleared together with his departure. Well... I should have feel good as well, as strategically he really did gave us a hard time. But I had a bit sympathy towards him, apparently he was a hard working and loyal staff, just that he is unable to find support in the management board.

We guessed he left due to internal conflicts, his former boss and alliances left one by one, we think he was the last one from 'the other party'.

Interesting to note the extreme reactions to the same piece of news, I've got a soft hand which is fatal in business, as no one will feel sorry when your rival vaporized.

End of July

Here comes the end of July, over half of 2005... cannot recall any significant events happened, I guessed everyone is just too busy. Too busy in everything.

I need to plan a better and organized life for myself, it is just too miserable to wait for others to enlight my life.

Mission Accomplished!!~

Tough

Sorting through the notes in the coming semester, I understand why the passing rate is relatively low for this subject. Getting a good pass appears to be tough and yet it ignites my surge to overcome, so challenge me~

Yoga

First lesson of Yoga, feeling relaxed in a dance studio which has full view of IFC II, and do not feel embarrassed in doing some absurd body movements... haa~

The lesson proved to be much more enjoyable with your presence.

Friday Night

I guessed anyone will be scared off if they met me last Friday night. Honestly I did not do it purposely, I was not intentionally wanted to make you worry. I hope you will understand after the night-long explanation.

How will you expect one to react when their territory is being threatened? The right expression is "I feel I was being threatened", rather than I feel jealous or so. Whether you like her or not, clues and her actions just made me nervous. The fact that she is your very good friend just intensify the nervousness.

I wished I have explained myself well enough in that state, and I hope you have tried to understand my position. If I have the power to control myself from refraining the search, trust me I have used it for a long time, longer than you have imagined. Now it just comes to the place where suppression will only crush me, I would rather choose to face the problem head on.

I am sorry.
You are sorry.

St Paul's Convent School - 150 Anniversay

Modern Home Ed. Room and the corridor outside 7P, where we used to play taichi. Now it can be divided into individual small study rooms with seperate air conditioners!!!


















Renovated toilets with auto water tap + soap + tissues. The old old telephone is still here!

This is specially dedicated to Ms. Yap Yap, as Wanda was here but you missed the 150 anniversary, you have to wait for another 10 years~~~~ Short videos are available upon request (politely).

Stay Calm

Just wrote around 200 words in condemning myself, but so far no one says I was wrong except myself. I dunno how to think... to be sensible or to be selfish, unfortunately I am in the middle. In the middle where I got no place to land, with no support.

But I have decided to put it all into trust, not that this is the only solution, you deserve my trust more than anyone. Should I wrongly place my trust on you, then I deserve the hell.

Favourite Cursing Word

My favourite cursing word is used to be 'f*ck'.

But now... I uncontrollably want to say 'SHIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!'

Sorry if you have been offended... but I am deeply troubled, disturbed, disoriented... SHIT!