The Only Reason...

I am older than they are; I am quieter than they are; the only reaosn for you to choose to sitting beside me is that you love me.

Correct me if I am wrong.

P.S. can't believe I am putting entry here again

Nah..

As far as I recalled, this is the second time I intentionally did not pick up your call for the past 7 years. I would say this number is rather impressive. If you forgot, the first time I kept ignoring your SMS & phone calls was when I was in Beijing business trip 4 years ago.

Am I being too demanding?! Go to hell if you think so.

Happy News

This is indeed the happiest news I've heard ever since I came back from Australia!!! Shocking and yet sooo happy for you!! ^O^ Finally one of us got married!!!!

My Aunt

Ten years ago, you told me peacefully you were divorsed not long after you arrived Canada, while eating congee; two days ago, you told me slowly that you had half your lungs removed because of lung cancer during shopping. You even detailed the process of how the disease was discovered, so rationally & quietly, as if you were telling other people's story.

I cannot find any trace of these awful things ever happened on you, your broad smile and your funny jokes. Only wonderful experiences can be linked to you.

Unpredictable is a suitable adjective for life. Planning is needed, but living the moment is more important. So just do it.

Don't Fail My Trust In You

After that nightmare and tonight's conversation on unfaithfulness, I have nothing more to say except this: Don't Fail My Trust In You.

Difference

I had this new idea of a bold move, yet I received two totally different reactions from two different parties. One is supportive and encouraging, while the other one is extremely reserved on the idea to the extent of discouragement.

In the face of two opposite thinking directions, I am not confused, because I know what I want, the question is how to execute the process. I am only sad that the supportive comments were not come from my own family. The saddness was further deepened by the apparent lack of confidence in my ability and commitment to take care of them.

We have to learn to be positive, only when there is hope to succeed, you will have the energy and creativity to make it happens. I am (we are) the pioneer of dream maker(s).

Welcome Home

Welcome Home! Home is made of tasty food, comfy bed, noisy friends, crowded streets, nagging mum, messy room, loveable & hate-able brother, polluted air, depressed citizens, glamourous shopping malls and a pressurized atmosphere.

After two months since coming back, I had lived off the reminant joy of the working holiday. Now what comes after me is the pressure to get a good job, and to get used to living with family again...

A New Blog for A New Time

If you are so kind and still reading this dusty blog, please visit the following blog from this day until I am back to Hong Kong. Love you!

http://tingzi-at-aus.blogspot.com/

Appreciation

I thank you for your tolerance of my bad temper.
I am grateful of your love and care, though these are often expressed in an unspoken manner.
I am thankful for your courage and determination to realize this adventure. I will not have done it without you.
I appreciate every single gesture in this relationship, regardless of its significance.
I must say I am so very blessed and fortunate to have met you.

Thank you.

No Regret

People generally are shocked by my decision to quit my job and to forego one-year income to "experience" life, and yet exclaimation of envy is expressed (some are genuine appreciations and some are out of politeness). Different people has different expectations of my trip: obtain a permanent residency; start a business; working a job with triple the current salary; travel around; try something extraordinary...

Being a Number 9 person, naturally I would want to fulfill wishes of other people, and feel disappointed if expectations of others are not being fulfilled. So upto this moment, three days before the trip, I am still confused of what my OWN expectation should be.

What I will be doing is definitely not something conventional in our culture, and that is why eyebrows are raised whenever this idea is heard. Doubtful looks and disagreeing comments sometimes shake my confidence. But the scene of myself regretting for giving up this opportunity at later age sends cold sweat down my spine... I would prefer to take in skeptical opinions than to regret.

Guessed I should focus on what I want to add to my life, instead of pleasing others like I always do. To start a new career at the edge of 30 sounds "a bit late" to many people, but "I wished I would have done XXX when I was younger" is often one of the most repeated phrases as people grow older. I do not want this phrase to slip out of my mouth.

Chin up and look ahead, I should only feel blessed. Afterall, family and friends are supportive and I have a travelmate who would face heavier pressure and yet agree to join this adventure. I should have nothing to complain, but be thankful.

Feel so relieved after writing up this entry.

Email Extract

"hey~ i am counting down the days now... and i somehow feel bad abt this... when i saw ppl treat me so good... i feel even worse....

i did not have this kind of feeling in my last exchange... maybe i got a more legitimate reason in going abroad last time, it was with a concrete purpose. but for this time... i just left whatever that is here and get away for some time.. to have fun.... or to so called experience life.... ..."

One Week

Same time next week, I will be on the plane embarking to the boldest and yet most exciting journey.

Memory Box

While I was sorting my messy bedroom/drawers/folders today, I found many interesting stuff:-

• A hand-painted birthday card from my bro when he was 11, and.... I was 19. He was so cute!!!
• A movie ticket of "Life Is Beautiful" and a book fair staff pass
• Platform Speech written in Form 6
• Original 手稿 of 聽愛麗絲的表白 and 醉翁"婷"記!!!!
• A Muji note book containing lovely farewell notes, contact details & post-it messages from people I met during the exchange life in Maastricht
• At least 5 years of organizers

Still remembered on the first day my roomate in Maastricht moved in, she told me that the last drawer is called the "Memory Box". It would store all her memories during the exchange period.

Next time when you throw away something, think again, it might be a nice contribution to your own memory box.

Platform Speech 1998

Found a piece of paper with the following context. Not too bad for a writing from me 10 years ago.

"Good Morning Revernd Sister Margaret, Mrs. Yuen, Mrs. Yu, teachers and my fellow schoolmates.

I'm Gloria Lai of Form 6P. I've never dreamt of standing here and deliver my speech. But why am I here? It's because my schoolmates believed that I have the ability to contribute to the school and to serve you all.

During the five years in St Paul's, I learned how to treasure, treasure everything you have now and you had before, no matter they are good or bad. So being a prefect will be a valuable experience to me. I'm going to enjoy every moment of it, though I know many obstacles are waiting for me. But "No pain, no gain", I'm very confident in turning those obstacles into my own wisdom.

I also became more open minded in all these years. I no longer jealous of my friends' success, but to truely appreciate their talents. Everyone is talented in some areas, it depends whether you can discover it. So don't be sad if your friends are better than you in some ways, for you yourself must be good in other fields. Just be yourself and don't compare.

I know Form six is surely not a honeymoon year. Besides tones of homework and tests, we also need to be the club officers. So if you want to reduce our workload, please lengthen your skirts and socks properly, we prefects will surely appreciate your considerations.

Prefects are not perfect! We're given the opportunity to learn and to work with you. However, all we need are yur cooperation and support.

I wish you all can give us prefects by giving a little smile when you meet us. Our whole campus will then be filled with lovely smiling faces!!

Thank you very much!~"

Treasure

It is difficult to find a person in this world who will allow you to talk, listen to your bullshit and understand your feelings. So when you find one, do treasure.

Last Day @ Marsh

The last day was just as another day, but because that was the "last day", I had to do things that are supposed to be done by people who has the last day.

1. Had a full team lunch
2. Bought cakes to office
3. Wrote goodbye & thank you email
4. Took pictures with colleagues
5. Received "please don't leave" greetings
6. Packed stuff, like 3 warming jackets, 1 suit, 2 glasses, decorations & backseat
7. Happy Hour with a unique combinationa of colleagues

Just another day.

It's About To...

It's about to come to an end, and everything will start again. Whatever the outcome, this is my optimal decision at this particular point of time.

Red Hair

I had my hair highlighted red yesterday. The colour on the top of my head is much redder and shinier than the rest, so it appeared that I am really red-headed.

Kind of worried bad responses from family and colleagues, I have even prepared defense in case they disapprove my new image. However, the responses turned out positive, even from my mum.

P.S. Thank God that I have taken my passport photo the day before the highlight… otherwise the red hair tingzi will be on the passport for the 10 years to come. Hohoo~

Take Charge

After I tendered my resignation to my manager, I felt my life has suddenly been recharged with energy. Because I am taking charge of my life now, not the company, not the clients, just me.

It felt so damn good!

2007 Cebu Trip ( 8 Sep - 10 Sep )

You would wish to have wider eyesight while you are under the sea, so you can take the whole sea world in one look. The excitment of swimming with flock of big fishes and in the world of coral reef is beyond words can explain. You will be amazed and perplexed by wonders of nature.

Definitely the best dive I have ever had.