A bad dream with a scene that left me shock and speechless, I remembered when I woke up, I kept recalling the scene and imagined if I did see that in real life, will I be petrified as in the dream? Probably YES.
Not really a nice piece for first 2007 entry.
I am digging hard my head into "The Historian"... trying tired myself so I sleep instead of doing... nothing.
Is my life this empty?
I woke up soaking wet in my own tears, I vaguely remembered the dream now, it was not a horrible one, but a bit sad.
Inside my boss' room today, I also saw tears swelling up her eyes when she was explaining our position with the demanding client over the phone. We are all under pressure, but hers is more than she can bear. At that particular moment, I forget all about quitting the job.
I was so moved to receive a X'mas Card from Japan, thanks Jaujau!!!!!
The little card reminds me of the late night letter/card writings even after a whole day's homework. We used to keep relationship in a more...hm... indirect yet lovely way.
I do not throw away hand written letters, so I still have a full box of paper correspondences with naive ideas composed by pure hearts.
有人對我說了以下一番話:
"可能你不會同意, 但尊嚴是不值錢的, 由其在非原則性的問題上. 那你就作假都要順著他們, 有需要就自動認下錯, 否則蝕底的都是你自己."
講得很好!! 但我真的不能同意, 尊嚴本身就是個原則性的問題. 尊嚴不會因應不同的情況而被掛上不同的價錢牌. 所以我答:
"okay. 但估計我還需要時間慢慢學習."
如果對你說這番話的是你老闆, 感覺真的有點灰. 尊嚴實在是甚麼? 我還是 so simple too naive 地不能清楚解釋. 只知道我還是未能卑躬屈膝笑騎騎地拍馬屁, 可能我還不夠老練, 未能看透, 又或者是我的腰骨還在.
It has been nearly two years, but I still cannot get over. Only wish you will know... though it is too late.
I have attended 4 wedding dinners so far this year and 2 more are coming. Still have no single feeling of disgust when I receive the pink bombs.
At this particular moment, I suddenly understand the importance of the Wedding Dinner. It might be a show for the guests, it is part the permanent memories that are unerasable even by Alzheimer's Disease.
Imagine when you are at the age of 93, your memory is eroded bit by bit by Alzheimer's, you started to forget the names of your grandchildren, unable to recall your telephone numbers, but you can still remember the Love Declaration you read to him/her on your wedding night... how sweet will this be.
I feel like walking slowly into a dead end tunnel. Behind me, laughters fading, lights getting dimmer.
Where will I be the same time next year? I hope I will be embarking for another unique life experience in another part of the world... with you.
Let's get our fingers crossed. ^-^
Wake up before dawn comes, yet adrenaline level beats the sleepiness. Have a casual breakfast and rush to terminal for boarding. Holding a piece of map guide and anticipating new discoveries.
I can re-experience the backpacking routines in a place that I should be familiar with but yet still very alien. Let's use another angle to explore, to re-discover.
I have promised to go back and visit them during National Holiday, then I will, whatever the difficulties, whatever the room allocation, and I am taking you with me.
If we can work our heads off for our Company who has no mercy on us, why can't we skip few hours of sleep for our family?? I cannot afford another miss.
從 Jack's Life 彷彿也看到自己的 life, 從小到大規規矩矩, 總是沒有辜負家人的期望. 走過的路像是戲中機械人預設程式般, 在指定的時候裏完成指定的動作, 皆大歡喜.
幸福的公式等於大學畢業+事業有成+有車有樓+生兒育女+望子成龍+提早退休+百年歸老.
完成第一階段, 有人會提醒, 催促你要替下一個目標作準備. 相信有人會嘗試掙扎, 但只有小部份人能夠成功為幸福另設新定義.
其實到最後誰也不會比誰更幸福, 幸福是個人化的, 各人都擁有把事情"幸福化"的能力. 公認的幸福方程式, 也只是一個參考答案, 想創新的人們, 就要靠自己了.
p.s. 致Ada/Rose/侍應/奶奶/鄉親/排隊者, 現送上遲來的post-drama感想.
